Tuesday, December 16, 2014

One of Those Days...




Do your mornings run smoothly, kids get ready for school without incident, leaving you to spend the rest of your day relaxed? Not in the Ralliford household. In my house it seems as though any task that includes my kids is guaranteed to hold chaos. School mornings are no different. Of my three school aged daughters, the one who usually has no problems waking up and getting dressed is the youngest, who is in Pre-K. She is who I would expect the problems from, being that this is her first year in school. But no it is her older counterparts who seem to have the issues with the morning routine, actually with any routine as I think about it. These girls are amazing and not always in a good way. I can't get them to take a shower without being some sort of argument. They are young, but very opinionated. I have to blame my husband for that as he likes to give our kids freedom to talk to is about anything and they have misconstrued it to be that they can talk any way to us as parents. Most times my husband actually entertains this and they will have banter back and forth until I put a stop to it.

My household is anything but normal, as I have said on many occasions. We are loud, my kids are rambunctious, outspoken, and quite lazy. I don't want to sound like I'm bashing them, they mean the world to me and I'd be clueless and lost without them, but they fight me over everything. This is no different when they have to get ready for school. Maybe it's my fault for doing things for them rather than arguing with them, but it takes them literally one hour to wake up, wash their face, brush their teeth and put on their uniform for school. In my opinion this is way too long. They only do their morning routine after fighting with me about the uniform shirt I picked out or the shoes I'm telling them to wear, and having to tell them more than five times to brush their teeth and stop fighting. This would drive any mother crazy, especially if it is on a daily basis. No matter how simple I try to make things they always end up being about as difficult as learning a second language while trying to learn your first.

Every moment of the morning holds fighting, talking back, tattle telling, and anything else my daughters can think of to throw a wrench in their morning. When they are finally dressed, it is time for them to get out the door, this doesn't even happen without a fight among sisters. My oldest daughter is in the third grade, and had been begging us to allow her and her sisters to walk to and from school since last school year. We only agreed to let them walk being as the school is less then half a mile down our street. They cannot do this without a fight. There have literally been mornings when I have had to go outside in my. Bathrobe and slippers to stop them from fighting. Mind you, we live next door to a church and they were in their parking lot. 

The only peace I seem to have anymore is when I'm home with my baby Omega during the day. If you know my baby, you know he was born with Down Syndrome, so this causes a delay in his development. He is two years old yet he is on the level of a one year old. He brings me peace when I am surrounded with chaos. It seems a little off that it is more peaceful with a one year old, than with three girls who are old enough to attend school but I guess that's what I signed up for having four kiddos only two years apart in age. Don't get me wrong, I love my girls but they can be trouble most of the time. And yet it seems they only respond to yelling and chaos in return. 

It seems that no punishment actually works with them. We take away their t.v., and they shrug it off. We take away their toys, they don't even shutter. This year for Christmas, we bought our kids nothing. The only gifts they got were from their grandmother, my god sister, and each other. Yet even this did not seem to phase them.  What works? Having them sit and write sentences. My two oldest are old enough for this punishment, while my youngest daughter is still too young for this. For her it seems as though quiet time works for her. She is at the age where she has begun to fall on the floor, attempting to have a tantrum. I have to ignore her. If I allow myself to get worked up, yelling and getting angry with her, she will win. Yes I said it, a four year old will hold victory over an adult when I give into her fits. I have tried to research online other means of discipline, yet it seems as though I have already tried most of them to no avail. I see what the issues are and I have to address them before I can address the behavior. As with any aspect of parenting, consistency is the key to successful parenting.

Consistency is only part of the equation. Children have to see their parents as the example, not as a hypocrite. Even as young as my kids are, they are able to recognize hypocritical behavior and do not have a problem calling me on it. Perfect example, maybe a year or two ago, my husband told my oldest daughter that she needed to keep her things neat and put away, her response to him was, why if you don't? I had to stop on my tracks when she said that, because she was right. To this day they both leave their socks balled up wherever they take them off at, like father like daughter I guess. As parents we are our children's first teacher, and no matter how much we may say that children are to do as we say and not as we do, that is really not a realistic request when they learn everything they know from us. I guess it's time to give the little buggers more credit, and break it down for them in a way they understand. Be the best example, not the worst, and know that they are like the government, always watching.






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