Not So Merry Christmas

Suffering from depression is difficult at any time of year, but it seems as though it gets especially bad during the holidays. For some, it is based on the season of the year otherwise known as Seasonal Affective Disorder, which winter is the season with the most cases of this form of depression. For others, it is triggered by the feeling of loss for family members that have passed away. For the rest of those who suffer from depression during the holidays it is most likely triggered by the overall sense of lonliness during this time of gatherings, happiness, friends, and family. For anyone who suffers depression it doesn't really matter what season it is, we know we are depressed, lonely, agitated, emotional, and probably blame ourselves for these very feelings, yet at we may never know is why these feelings arise initially and also when they grow more intense during this time of year. Whatever the reasons behind your depression, it is best to try and work through whatever it is that is bothering you at that moment. 

Science has shown that depression is rooted in a chemical imbalance related to serotonin levels in the brain. This, in my opinion makes a person more receptive to more serious depression related to life experience. When a person experiences events that impact them in such ways as a death, divorce, or other serious events, this only compacts with the imbalance and has the potential to make a Clinically Depressed person. Once a person is suffering from depression, without treatment it will only get worse over time, as life is bound to bring additional stressors along the way. With or with out treatment the holidays will be among those additional stressors beginning with Thanksgiving. This holiday puts a lot of pressure on the average mom, let alone the mom suffering from either Clinical Depression or S.A.D. Christmas, Chanukah, and Ramadan will no doubt be the icing on the cakes of all moms who suffer this time of year as there is more demand for mom to be on stage with how she presents the holiday.

As moms, we have demands that dads (except single parent, or SAHD) just would not understand. We are always in the spotlight, and our skills as a mother are usually based on how well we present our families and homes. This causes much undo stress on moms, in addition to the stress of running the business we all know as our families. Now imagine you also suffered from depression or some other mental illness. It would become very difficult as the time moved on to continue presenting yourself and your family as the perfect family during the holidays. Hosting the parties, decorating the house, even baking cookies and doing crafts with the kids become the most daunting tasks. There is no more joy in decorating the tree, going to see Santa Claus, or baking so many sweets your husband has to tell you to stop. This is agony in itself, let alone watching the faces of your kids when you tell them the family Christmas party has been cancelled. Depression sucks at any time of the year but it is the worst during rh holidays because you feel now more than ever that you are letting down your family.

Your depression may have slightly gotten worse over the years or it could have come on all of a sudden, when it strikes it hits hard and is twice as hard to shake. Either way it is still not a good feeing for a mother to have, especially around a time of year when we are supposed to be at our best. This is the time of year when we are in the spotlight, with the big meals and decorations. This is our time to shine, but when even feel depressed, there are no big gatherings, mass baking, maybe not even many decorations but until the issues are actually handled, there will be none. This decision is your and yours alone, but if you make the wrong choice it has the potential to backfire and you may actually lose everything. When mental illness is concerned, there are few choices to be made and as a mother the choices are even slimmer. It's either fix what's wrong, save yourself and your family, or don't and lose yourself along with anything else you hold close.

Christmas is a major holiday that is meant to bring families together to celebrate the highest holy day in the Christian faith. This day is supposed to bring joy to families, families and strangers together, and give humanity a time to release the trials of everyday life to be grateful for those things they do have. When you suffer from depression it is very difficult to be able to appreciate anything at anytime, let alone during a holiday, yet the time of year gives way for opportunity. The New Year brings new chances for change and enhancement of self. Take the opportunity when it comes. Any time a new opportunity presents itself, try it, you never know how it will affect you whether positive or negative, but you don't know until you try. Make resolutions and make yourself hold to them. I know this could be pot meet kettle but, I'm on this journey right along with you. I too suffer for. Major depression, post partum, Seasonal Depression, you name it I have it, but I am comfortable and am able to own that for the moment. I believe that depression brings procrastination, and I am good at that too. In 2015, I am vowing to be a better person, getting the things done that I need to get done, and making myself happy, while making my loved ones just as happy. We are all going to do better this year. Together.