Mother: the heart of the home

As mothers, we carry great responsibilities on our backs, and great stress on our minds. We carry this for our entire family, both immediate and extended, blood and otherwise without much complaint. Our bodies are fragile, yet we are expected to carry more than our weight in life and yet are only honored for our daily struggles one day each year. While I am flattered at the thought of being honored, I am also disparaged to think that on every other day of they year we are taken for granted for what we do to keep our  families together;teaching our children their very values and morals, keeping our husbands sane enough to be the bread winner, all while ensuring that the house is kept up, everyone in the family gets to the doctor as needed, paying bills on time and everything else under the sun when it comes to your husband, children, and maybe (if your lucky) yourself. Why is it that there is only one day perear that actually takes time to recognize all that we do for our family?

My husband told me something today that sounded ridiculous to me, maybe it will to you too. My husband works in a garage around 15-20 males who speak daily with no filter, and a topic of discussion this past week in the shop was how they were celebrating Mothers Day. More than one of the males in the shop said that they were taking their mothers out to breakfast, buying their mother a new dishwasher, or some other gift to their mother. When my husband asked what about their wives, the men all but laughed in his face,looked him dead in his eyes and said, she isn't "my" mom! This is disgusting to me that anyone would think this way about their wives and the women who birthed their offspring. To my delight, my husband all but flipped out for the dumbest response ever. I have to hope that this mindset is limited to the Neanderthals who work with my husband but I know better. If there are this many men who feel as though their wives are not on the same level as their mother, there are more out there. To those I say, WE ARE MOTHERS. Why wouldn't I be on a higher lever than your mother when I have not only mothered YOUR children,  but I have also mothered YOU since the day we met! This mentality bothers me to no end and just want to scream when I hear it.

I am witnessing first hand what happens when mom breaks down like an old Ford pick up. The entire household had gone to shambles as I sit by watching, body riddled with pain unable to perform the duties expected of a mother and wife while my daughter's witness a mother, a female role model doing little more than cooking dinner on occasion, is angry and sad most of the time. Is this what they will learn is a mother, raising their children the same way as they were raised? Am I doing any better than my own mother who left when I was just two years old? I am better than her because I'm still here with my children and husband, striving daily to make my marriage and family better than what I had. This is the reason why we as mother's are the heart of our homes, we are what keep our lives and our family's lives in check. We are expected to be the manager of our homes, the all knowing one who can recite on the drop of a dime any and all appointments, rides, play dates, and sleep overs, not to mention being the banker and business manager of an income that is not your own. 

There is so much that is required of us as mothers, wives, and women that are tend to forget ourselves and what see need in the process. My husband and I were spending a night at our friends house when the discussion of being the caretakers came about. I was all but amazed at the way that my husband described me as I am whenever he gets sick. I didn't think that he actually was aware of the way I run through the house like a headless chicken anytime he gets his famous yearly stomach flu. Usually it never fails that when daddy gets sick, at least one of his little princesses follow suit. I never thought anyone, especially not my husband would ever even take heed to the fact that while I am busy taking care of everyone else that I know, I have allowed for myself, to be forgotten in the meantime. I am confident that most mothers of larger families can not only relate, but mirror this all so common scenario.

When do we get to the point of drawing a line in the sand? Where we as individuals are shown the same attention to detail that we give? Is this a selfish request of a mother and wife, knowing that when we got married and began having kids this was exactly what we signed up for? With all things considered, you wouldn't neglect your heart health, if physically conscious otherwise. Caring for yourself in the midst of family is no different. All too often mom goes forgotten when it comes to caring for all of those we love. There is nothing wrong with this, after all these ARE our loved ones, but we can't remain forgotten. Let me be your prime example. I lived and allowed for a mere infection go untreated to the point of cancer, and endometriosis, ravishing my insides with the only possible remedy being a full hysterectomy. To this day I am watching my back to make sure that this doesn't happen again, yet regretfully with a blind eye.

Never will anyone take care of you the east that you should take care of yourself. Most times when mom isn't putting everything and everyone else first those around us think something is wrong. It is now time to find your individual, and see what it is that she needs in order to be the best everything, instead of something or another. This life is too short to allow it to overcome you with anything other than happiness and joy, instead of the stress and despair that we live with in our daily lives. While we may be the heart of our families and homes, we cannot forget that we are of the most important pieces of our family puzzle and without us at our full capabilities we might as well not be in this position at all.