If you were to Google how to reduce stress over the holidays, you would surely be overwhelmed by all of the medical, life coach, and lifestyle articles that pop up. After some digging through the medical and other means of relieving the stress, I was able to find over 100 ways to "reduce stress", yet I have my reservations regarding the methods that are suggested by the various sites, yet there are a few that I would consider trying to reduce my own stress. I tend to over stress which makes my lovely husband also stress and begin to show signs of anxiety. This helps no one, it only makes for more tension, which makes me tired. Tired, as in sleepy, as well as mentally, which ends up taking its toll on the true meaning behind all of the preparation and stress, the joy of the holiday.
When we are preparing our homes for the family and friends that are coming to visit (tear up your house, let their kids run wild) there is such a need for perfection, the thought of the impression that we are making is a great stressor. The best remedy for this stress is to not over do it. This is not about who has the nicer house, the better behaved kids, the bigger flat screen. This is about being around family, friends and reflecting on what it is that we really appreciate and give thanks for it. We need to focus on the importance of the family we do have, as there are many family members who have passed away, or have moved to far to even be present. There is such a lonliness that follows the reminiscing of those relatives, yet we have to attempt to focus on what is in front of us. What is in front of us? What are we proud of without being boisterous? Life is strange that we only have this reflection once or twice a year,now hen our families should come together on a more regular basis so that we are closer as a unit.
It is very easy to become overwhelmed while cooking for as many people as you have planned. This may be easier said than done but most times this stress can easily be detered by simply taking a walk. Not a long walk around the track, just a short walk, maybe to the end of the driveway and back. It doesn't really matter how far you walk, walking is healthy and a proven stress reliever. If it happens to be a sunny day, then you are able to de-stress using two methods instead of one, as sunlight is also a proven method of relieving stress. These ways are simple, yet effective in managing stress and do not cost a dime, yet they are there as soon as you begin to feel the anxiety creeping up your spine. While cooking, you may also slice an orange or other citrus fruit and just stop to smell the scent of the citrus. You will notice that some of your stress will begin to deminish as the smell creeps through your nasal passages. These are simple methods to calm the stressors of holidays and having to get so many things done in such a short amount of time.
This year I have had an extra difficult time getting into the "groove" of the cooking and cleaning for thanksgiving. I didn't even have anything planned for the kids to do during this ridiculous ten days that they have off ( does anyone remember when we only had a half day Wednesday and a long weekend?) as I usually do. No craft parties, not even as much as an art project. Now don't get me wrong, I had all of the supplies, but did I feel like getting out of my bed to do anything? ABSOLUTLY NOT! But as mothers and the C.E.O's of our families, we have to be the one to get out of bed, even when we don't want to and give them memorable holidays that they build their own traditions from. I once read somewhere that if there is a chore that you despise doing, (washing dishes for me) it is positive reinforcement to hang a picture of what it is that you are doing it for above where you do that chore. I have actually found this to be helpful to motivate me to get through those grueling hours of chores to be completed. Through all of the physical pain and emotional anchors that tried to hold me back from giving my family a holiday that they are used to, rather than just another day, I had to fight to get out of bed everyday until it was time to just get up and go. I had to stop telling myself how much pain that I was in, I had to just get up and bear with the pain. If it took for me to have to ask my six year old to bring me a chair while I peeled the sweet potatoes, than so be it. I cannot be ashamed of the pain, or the depression that I feel. I am their mother and the root of all their knowledge. The schools will only teach them so much.
Being only half way through cooking my Thanksgiving menu, I should be stressed to the bone. I should be running around like a chicken with no head, in this the eleventh hour. Yet I'm relaxed, almost to the point of going to bed at a normal hour. What is the secret? Stella Artois Hard Cider and I Heart Radio, this is almost completely true. This was the method I used through my cooking marathon today and I didn't yell (too much) at the kids or burn much more than the noodles. Yes I have left a lot to do tomorrow, but honestly I'm going to take advantage of the help that I will have that I have been without for this week, my husband. I am fortunate to have a husband that was my caretaker while I was at my worst with cancer, and who still helps me with everything I need help with, now that I suffer from the worst back on the planet. I know that he is a very rare breed, yet I have to think that if put in similar situations, any of your husbands would do the exact same. Yet when you are not in this situation, many husbands get so used to us doing everything, that they do not expect that you actually need the help. We as wives are supposed to be the ones who take care of everything, needing no help from anyone, but sometimes all it takes is to ask. I have learned this with mine, I've learned that if I do not ask he will watch me struggle until I do actually ask for the help. Sometimes this is all it takes to alleviate the stress is to delegate duties so that all of the stress is not just on your shoulders.
I am beginning to see that our lives are only as difficult as we make them. If we do not verbalize that we need the help, we will never get it. And then whose fault is it when you drop the turkey? Don't yell at the kids, your husband, or the cats. It's YOURS for not asking for the help. If you are having car trouble wouldn't you ask for a mechanic to help? Or would you try and fix it yourself. I don't know about you but I don't know enough about cars to even attempt it. I know that I may be all over the place, but the point still remains, to alleviate about 60% of your stress on both a regular basis and during the holidays, you have to ask for help. If you are the type of person who does not ask for help, then you may suffer from high stress, and you are doing this to yourself. I can speak from experience that the stress will eat your body and soul from the inside out, if you do not get it under your control. You will not lose control of your life if you ask for help, you only lose the control when you keep silent.
No comments:
Post a Comment