My Letter to my Aries

To my Son who couldn't shine,

It was almost eight years ago to the day that you came and went like a summer's rain.
We never met, never looked into each other's eyes, or cradled you in my arms.
You weren't able to grow past my womb, never to share my breathe
I was never allowed to touch your face, or feed you from my breast.
I gave you a name, remember you every year on this day,
yet it is still to hard to talk about you in any dignified way.
I love you my little guy, you are never to be forgotten
You are our guardian angel watching over us until we meet again.

Angels
Risen
In
Each
Son lost.

Losing a child is never easy.  As a mother, you always feel responsible for anything that occurs when you are pregnant, even if logically you could have done nothing different. To carry a child until the point of hearing the heart beat, knowing the sex, and even picking out the name is a bond between mother and child that can't be broken by anyone except God.
Having to deal with any sort of complications is never an easy situation. It is difficult to hear that you did everything right, there was nothing they could do to have saved your angel from this ending.  Self blame starts to kick in, your body is going crazy thinking you have given birth, and your relationship begins to suffer because there is no way he could ever know how you feel. No one could ever know the loss you feel for your first child, how could anyone know the feeling of emptiness that has overcome your whole being.
I know that pain you are feeling. I know that emptiness that fills the pit of your stomach. I know that sorrow that fills your heart when your breasts fill with milk that has no purpose. I know the anger that you feel towards yourself, convincing you that you did something wrong, you should have been more careful, but the fact is that you had nothing to do with this loss.
No matter what your ARE a mother.  Do not allow for this loss to stop you from wanting another. You will never replace your first born but you can have another.